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5 Minutes in a Mom's Head

What time is it? What day is it? Oh gosh this bed feels so good. Why can't I just stay here all day. That would be the perfect vacation. Screw the Caribbean, I just want my bed. My bed with Netflix and cheesecake. And Tostitos. Guacamole, too. Mmm. Nachos. And sangria. I'll never be skinny. Maybe I should do that Facebook ab challenge. Because I need something fresh to fail at. I should do a cheesecake challenge. Try a new cheesecake every day.

What are they fighting about? A highlighter? In a room full of toys that I paid good money for, these kids are fighting over a highlighter? Speaking of toys, I should probably wash their stuffed animals. What if they're full of dust mites. What if there's an entire city of dust mites right behind Tenderheart Bear's eyes? A dust mite community with freeways and infrastructure and elected dust mite officials. I need to be more on top of this stuff. Why can't I be a normal, responsible, Pinterest mom? I haven't made my baby one sensory table or ice tray full of colorful little finger foods.

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